Buddhism… Correct?

I’m pretty much as atheist as they come. I’m sorry; shield your children. I’ve been taking these Eastern religion courses, however, and I started to think, well, damn. What if Buddhists were right? What if they’ve been right all along; they’re just too chill to care whether anyone believes them?

Let’s first establish what it is they may be right about.

They believe in reincarnation. There’s a system of karma that dictates what realm of the earth or heavens or hells that we will be born into. If you’re some sort of turtle, and you’re a huge prick at that, you’ll run the risk of being born in your next life as a hungry ghost or some shit. If you’re a super nice turtle, and you don’t even eat your babies or anything, you might skip the human realm and end up in the heavenly realm amongst the gods. But you don’t want either of those outcomes. You don’t WANT to be reborn. That’s not what Buddhists are after; they want liberation from the endless cycle of suffering. And the only way to get out of the cycle of rebirth is through meditation in the human realm. And there is a cosmic Buddha who appears every several eons to make sure everyone is doing okay.

I’ll stop here for a moment. This is bullshit so far. The only realm of existence that one can achieve liberation in… is the only one we know for sure exists. Hungry ghosts? Cosmic Buddhas? No, this part makes no sense.

But Buddhists don’t claim religiosity. They claim they follow a way of life. It’s like how most sane Christians know that everything the Bible says is bullshit, but it still teaches good morals to live by.

Well imagine if a religion ACTUALLY taught us good rules to live by! As opposed to persecuting gays and anyone different, not using birth control and being a condescending dick to anyone who thinks different.

Buddhists believe that life is defined by suffering. Everything you gain and which gives you happiness can be taken away, and eventually will be taken away. So what’s the point? The only reason those things (A relationship, a car, a job) give you happiness is because you wanted them and worked for them. That’s striving. Buddhists don’t believe in striving. That creates attachment when you actually achieve what you strive for. And when you have this attachment, what happens when it’s inevitably taken away? Suffering.

And how do Buddhists go about ending this suffering? They meditate until they achieve enlightenment. And if they become attached to meditating, they aren’t doing it right. If they become attached to not being attached, they aren’t doing it right. It takes years of practice, but the goal is to become completely mindful 100% of the time. And being mindful is something that all of us can actually do. 1% of the time. When you are completely mindful of everything around you, you don’t care about whatever you aspire to. You are in the moment, simply taking in everything around you. And I honestly believe that if I were to become mindful all the time, I wouldn’t have suffering. I’m up to 2% and I’m feeling great!

Ask a Buddhist master who has achieved this. Are you suffering?https://i0.wp.com/img.youtube.com/vi/OyARLgFbHlQ/0.jpg

“Nah man, just puttin mah mofuckin bodhi tree ona rock or some shit.”


1 Response to “Buddhism… Correct?”

  1. 1 Tim in LA Trick December 23, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    Hey, just stumbled upon your site by google image searching “the kid from Role Models” – just saw the uncensored version and was looking for a pic of that hilarious, foul mouthed kid.

    Anyway, I’ve been dating a buddhist on and off for three years and just asked her to marry me two weeks ago. She OF COURSE said yes, mainly because I’m awesome, partly because I’m her “work in progress”, she hasn’t said that, I just feel like it. And I am, I’m smoking less weed, drinking less beer and flowing with more gratitude than ever before.

    I’ve considered myself an atheist for at least a decade, so for someone to come along and try to push their beliefs on me they have to be very patient, ready for an intense debate and have all the answers. Well, she doesn’t, she can’t. She’s Indonesian so her language and translation is a bit off and it frustrates her when I ask such difficult questions like “WHY SO MUCH GOLD?” referring to her altar, and the temple’s stage setup.

    After calming down about the dogma, the doctrine, the seemingly male-dominated “religion” I’ve started to really understand what it all means. 3000 years of chanting the same phrase!? Amazing. 3000 years of following the same pattern of gratitude, prayer for the dead, prayer for the living and needy, prayer for the past buddhist “masters” or whatever, very cool. I love that it hasn’t changed, that really means a lot to me, someone who was born into a southern baptist family and had to move away to escape it. Christianity is such bullshit, such hypocrisy, such utter nonsense. Same for the bible, what a load of SHIT.

    Anyway, yes… if any “religion” is “correct” buddhism is damn close. I don’t chant twice a day like my fiance but I have a feeling that I will eventually. I went to our local temple last sunday and we chanted NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO for literally over an hour. The same phrase… FOREVER and ever and ever like it would never end. But after about 20min of this, I started zoning out, (or in) and really started to reflect on a lot of my present life and relationships, bad and good. Meditation I suppose, with a phrase to either connect or disconnect your physical being with your mental state. Really cool actually, I’ve never had so much pure thought at one time.

    tim p.

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