The Day the Bros Went Away

At once it was silent and all through the complex
No sweat or discussion of the Jets defense
The bros were all gone but where could they be
The equipment was ready, could it be me?


The bench press was lonely, the freshman girls unoggled
The game wasn’t on; one’s mind surely boggled
The people wore sleeves, wore their hats straight ahead
This wasn’t right, could the bros all be dead?

The little young towel boy requires a spotter
Awkward girls on treadmills discuss Harry Potter
But this isn’t the way
No way not now
The bros are all missing and I’m wondering how

They’re here every day to prove to each other
Their strength and their might to their slow witted brothers
The Powerade runs dry and the world’s orbit slows
Oh where oh where can we find all the bros?

But then it is clear
I surely was daft
The bros can’t be here
They must focus their craft

For on this day, one day a week,
The bros have another agenda to seek

They apply their body paint
They jager their bombs
They wrangle up she bros
With stunning aplomb

This is the day the that there’s no time to train
It’s gameday it’s Saturday in the sun or the rain
They join themselves close and they yell till you’re deaf
Tis a day to get wasted and yell at the ref

If you want to exercise but are afraid of these creatures
What better day to explore the gym’s features?

But tomorrow they’ll return, hungover and glum
You’ll probably wish you never had come
So be quick be efficient you mustn’t delay
For today is the day that the bros went away


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Dedicated to the life and times of Officer Dog


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